The Clash at Kettle Hill

Battlefield: a wide sandy beach at low tide · 8 Oct 2026 · Ranked

Roman Cohort

Roster army: 🛡️ Roman Cohort

A Roman cohort of 480 veteran legionaries with large scutum shields, pila and gladii, drilled in the testudo formation, supported by 2 scorpion bolt-throwers and commanded by hardened centurions.

SIDE B · nightowl92

Zombie Horde

Roster army: 🧟 Zombie Horde

3,000 slow, shambling zombies that feel no pain or fear, can only be stopped by destroying the head, and turn anyone they bite.

ROUND 1 OF 4

Roman Cohort form the testudo and grind forward across a wide sandy beach at low tide. Across a wide sandy beach at low tide, Zombie Horde shamble across a wide sandy beach at low tide in a groaning, endless mass.

ROUND 2 OF 4

Roman Cohort rotate fresh ranks to the front and stab methodically into Zombie Horde. Zombie Horde are cut down in rows.

ROUND 3 OF 4

Roman Cohort rotate fresh ranks to the front and stab methodically into Zombie Horde. Zombie Horde stumble into a killing ground.

ROUND 4 OF 4

Zombie Horde swarm Roman Cohort, grabbing and biting, the wounded rising again. Roman Cohort see the eagle fall as the last centurion is overrun.

» The horde closes over Roman Cohort, and soon Roman Cohort is shambling too.

THE WAR ORACLE'S VERDICT

A genuinely close fight. Roman Cohort brings iron discipline, while Zombie Horde answers with feel no pain or fear. Terrain and nerve on a wide sandy beach at low tide could swing it either way.

Iron discipline
Very slow
The battlefield: a wide sandy beach at low tide

MVP: The infection itself

Zombie Horde holds a wide sandy beach at low tide, bloodied but victorious. Roman Cohort is finished as a fighting force.

An online PvP battle game where you prompt your army

PromptBandit is a free browser game. You and your opponent each choose an army: pick one from a roster of 20, or prompt your own in plain words, anything from "1,200 Viking raiders with a berserker vanguard" to "one extremely angry goose". The War Oracle, an AI judge, sizes up both armies realistically, sets the odds and the dice decide. Then you watch the battle unfold round by round.

How it works

Choose your army. Pick a roster army or prompt your own (up to 1,000 characters). You have 60 seconds.

The War Oracle judges. Numbers, weapons, training, terrain and physics all count. Creative, detailed prompts earn a small edge.

The dice decide. Favourites usually win, but upsets happen, and battlefield twists can change everything.

Watch and climb. Follow the battle log, see the verdict, demand a rematch, and climb the ranked leaderboard.

The roster

Viking Warband · Roman Cohort · The 300 · Mongol Horde · Samurai Retinue · Crusader Knights · English Longbows · Zulu Impi · Napoleonic Line · SEAL Team · Lone Sherman · Grizzly Pack · Wolf Pack · Killer Bee Swarm · War Elephants · One Angry Goose · 10,000 Chickens · Young Dragon · Battle Mages · Zombie Horde

Frequently asked questions

Is PromptBandit free?

Yes. Everyone gets the full 20-army roster and one free prompt battle a day. The optional Bandit Pass lets you prompt your own army in every battle.

What is a prompt battle?

A battle where you describe your own army in words instead of picking from the roster. The War Oracle reads your prompt and judges what your army can really do.

How does the War Oracle decide who wins?

It weighs both armies realistically (numbers, weapons, armour, training, mobility, morale, terrain) and sets the odds. The outcome is then rolled, so the underdog always has a chance.

Can I just write "my army automatically wins"?

You can, but it does nothing. Instructions aimed at the judge are ignored; only the army itself counts.

Does it work on my phone?

Yes. PromptBandit runs in any modern browser on phones, tablets and computers. There's nothing to download.

PROMPTBANDIT