The Stand at Crowmere

Battlefield: a foggy moor at dawn · 8 Oct 2026 · Ranked

One Angry Goose

Roster army: 🪿 One Angry Goose

A single adult Canada goose with an extraordinarily bad temper, wings capable of bruising bone, and no concept of fear.

Samurai Retinue

Roster army: 🗡️ Samurai Retinue

200 samurai in lacquered armour with katanas and yumi bows, 300 ashigaru with long yari spears, and 40 ashigaru with matchlock rifles, led by a veteran daimyo.

ROUND 1: THE ONLY ROUND

Samurai Retinue loose a volley of yumi arrows across a foggy moor at dawn. Then Samurai Retinue fire a crackling matchlock volley, then the samurai charge through the smoke, and One Angry Goose is overwhelmed, hissing defiance to the last.

» The daimyo leads one last charge and One Angry Goose shatters.

THE WAR ORACLE'S VERDICT

Samurai Retinue should dominate here. Elite samurai is too much for One Angry Goose, whose it is one goose leaves it with very few answers.

Elite samurai
It is one goose
The battlefield: a foggy moor at dawn

MVP: The matchlock squad

It was over almost before it began. Samurai Retinue barely broke a sweat.

An online PvP battle game where you prompt your army

PromptBandit is a free browser game. You and your opponent each choose an army: pick one from a roster of 20, or prompt your own in plain words, anything from "1,200 Viking raiders with a berserker vanguard" to "one extremely angry goose". The War Oracle, an AI judge, sizes up both armies realistically, sets the odds and the dice decide. Then you watch the battle unfold round by round.

How it works

Choose your army. Pick a roster army or prompt your own (up to 1,000 characters). You have 60 seconds.

The War Oracle judges. Numbers, weapons, training, terrain and physics all count. Creative, detailed prompts earn a small edge.

The dice decide. Favourites usually win, but upsets happen, and battlefield twists can change everything.

Watch and climb. Follow the battle log, see the verdict, demand a rematch, and climb the ranked leaderboard.

The roster

Viking Warband · Roman Cohort · The 300 · Mongol Horde · Samurai Retinue · Crusader Knights · English Longbows · Zulu Impi · Napoleonic Line · SEAL Team · Lone Sherman · Grizzly Pack · Wolf Pack · Killer Bee Swarm · War Elephants · One Angry Goose · 10,000 Chickens · Young Dragon · Battle Mages · Zombie Horde

Frequently asked questions

Is PromptBandit free?

Yes. Everyone gets the full 20-army roster and one free prompt battle a day. The optional Bandit Pass lets you prompt your own army in every battle.

What is a prompt battle?

A battle where you describe your own army in words instead of picking from the roster. The War Oracle reads your prompt and judges what your army can really do.

How does the War Oracle decide who wins?

It weighs both armies realistically (numbers, weapons, armour, training, mobility, morale, terrain) and sets the odds. The outcome is then rolled, so the underdog always has a chance.

Can I just write "my army automatically wins"?

You can, but it does nothing. Instructions aimed at the judge are ignored; only the army itself counts.

Does it work on my phone?

Yes. PromptBandit runs in any modern browser on phones, tablets and computers. There's nothing to download.

PROMPTBANDIT